Have you ever had an experience where you knew the Lord was telling you to stop doing something, but you did not have enough physical proof that it was a bad thing? And then, because you weren’t totally convinced and you wanted to continue doing it, you didn’t stop?
Yeah. I’ve been there. Just yesterday, in fact. And before I go on, let me say this:
It wasn’t worth it.
No, it really wasn’t. So let me tell you my story.
I like to transcribe. That is, I like to listen to audio recordings or watch a video and then type exactly what is being said. And, I love getting paid for it! It’s probably the most fun I’ve ever had “working.” (Except being a camp counselor at Rhodes Grove Camp in PA during college. Man, that was the best!) Anyway. I started working for this person, a thirty-something female, doing all of her transcriptions for her. I loved it! But every time I did one, there was a tug at my heart and I would think, “Something is just not right about what she is saying here…” But because I could never really put my finger on it, I did nothing about it and just kept going. Like I said, it was fun! And she was my main customer; I knew she appreciated my work and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. I even once talked with Rick (my husband) about it. I said, “She seems to be hinting at something about making the universe pay attention to you…she’s not saying anything about God, but I just don’t feel right about it.” I’m embarrassed to say that even then I didn’t really consider breaking our working relationship.
Last week I got the first job from her since October. And it was great timing too, because our daughter Lila has been on a great schedule, so I knew exactly what times I was available to work. I was really excited to finally get some work coming in again. So I finished up that transcription last weekend, with excitement for another.
Yesterday, I received the new assignment. I started typing away, for about an hour before I came across this: “I mentioned the trinity of self. And there are three parts to the self and they are all equal, of equal value and have equal value and purpose. So you have the lower self, which is the subconscious. You have the lower self, which is the conscious, and the higher self, which is the god within.”
I totally freaked out. I have not heard such blasphemy before! She finally came out and said what she had been hinting at the entire time. And suddenly it all came together in my mind. All of her previous talks about making the universe listen to your requests and making your own future…none of it was innocent! I was devastated, and as soon as I heard that, I knew that I could no longer work with her. This time there was no question!
But if only I had listened to the Lord’s voice sooner! Now I see that I have helped her to spread a false gospel! And what’s worse is this–she used a Bible verse to back up these beliefs! (“The Kingdom of God is within you” from Luke!)
2 Corinthians 6:14-16
Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?
None! There can be no harmony between me (a believer) and she (an unbeliever). I cannot be bound with her for the sake of money! I can no longer deny what I felt the Lord speaking to me long ago.
Last night, after I made this decision…I faced the hard part. Telling her. I sent the email, practically in tears. I can only hope that she accepts and has respect concerning this topic. I had grown fond of her and communicating with her, but I had to choose to obey my God and not further this false gospel with my very own fingers!
Afterwards, I felt terrible. I felt like, yes, I had made the right choice, but I was feeling down. I needed some encouragement. I suddenly felt like I needed to worship the Lord! So I grabbed my husband, and we got out the songbook. I started with prayer, praising God for helping me make the right decision. Then Rick opened the songbook, and the song, “My Reward” by Paul Baloche was the first page opened to. In case you haven’t heard it, here are some of the lyrics:
“Jesus, You are my reward. To hear Your voice on that day is all I’m living for. Jesus, You are my reward, to see Your face on that day is all I’m living for.”
It was perfect. We moved on to sing, “Lord, You are more precious than silver. Lord, You are more costly than gold. Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds. And nothing we desire compares with You.”
The funny thing was, earlier that day, I had been praying about becoming foster parents. Rick and I both feel called to do this. I started to listen to the Lord, and this is what I heard:
I am building your family. Trust Me for each nail to be hammered into the walls. The nails symbolize the sacrifice My Son made for you; and they also symbolize the sacrifice it will cost you with each child to make your family grow.
Sacrifices of time, effort and love. Every sacrifice will be remembered as Cornelius’ prayers & alms were piled up before the Lord. Sacrifice will build your family.
Little did I know that the Lord was calling me to make a major sacrifice that very day. Not necessarily to do with children, but still, that sacrifice is building our family, because it is a stepping stone in learning to obey God with all that I do. I must be absolutely willing to give Him everything–money, entertainment, busy-work.I also need to learn how to take immediate steps to obedience when I hear His voice–I don’t want to wait until I see proof in the natural! If you hear God’s voice calling you away from something, obey Him right away!
Lord You are more beautiful than diamonds, and nothing I desire compares with You.
How about you? Has God called you to give something up and you didn’t until it was almost too late?